Spring!!! And a revleation...

Well, it is officially midterms week and 1 week before break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So very excited!!! PLUS it is GORGEOUS outside today. Oh my, God is so good.

So, in saying it is midterms week, that means that I have quite a bit of studying to do. I decided that today was to beautiful to be stuck in my room (even though the windows are open) or in the library. So, I packed up my stuff and headed out to the pond. I know a lot of students may make jokes or tease about the pond and its reputation for being the PBU "date spot", buuuttt, I am so thankful that we do have a beautiful pond where I can sit and think, rest, study, or praise God for His attributes. Today as I have been sitting here, many thoughts have passed through my mind. "Why is there a huge swarming cloud of bugs flying behind my head?" "Are they mosquitoes?" "I never knew we had fish in our pond!" "Wow, look at how the sun sparkles on the lake. God, you are the greatest designer in the world! Fashion designers would kill to be able to take the diamond glittering quality on the sun on the water and put it into a dress." "God, you truly are amazing." I sit here and feel the sun on my face, the wind in my hair, and hear the occasional song of a nearby bird.

 Then my mind begins to move from the wonders of God's creation to what is going on in my life. Last night I talked with one of my girlfriends who was, and still is, really struggling with life. Today my roommate struggled with some news she received from her parents. In Bible class this morning we contemplated the characteristics of God and why He says in Exodus 34:7 that He will punish the children and grandchildren for a father's sin. In counseling class, we considered the depravity of man and how that affects counseling. So many thoughts, so much confusion at times, so much pain in my heart and in the lives of the ones that I love. I'll be honest, despite the beauty of the day, despite my amazement of who God is, I question. I wonder why life has to be so difficult at times. I wonder why God is so confusing. Why can't I understand? Why does my heart hurt? But then, I again see the beauty of God's creation. I see ducks and geese. I see trees and grass. I see rocks, leaves, plants. I see people. There is so much complexity in even the smallest leaf or strand of grass. God whispers softly to my heart, "You may not understand, but you do no have to fix everything. I am the God who created all you see. You would never consider sustaining the created world, so why do you try to sustain the individual lives of my people? That's my job, Elizabeth. You can love. You can have compassion, and even bear the burdens of your brothers and sisters, but you are not God. You cannot fix things, you cannot make sure everything works out in such a way that the path of least resistance is followed. You trust me to make sure the tree next to you doesn't fall and kill you. You trust me to keep the ground firm beneath you. Now trust me to control and sustain the people you love."

You see, I have trying to be God in my life and in the lives of others. I want to see others happy. I don't want them to hurt. I don't want them to struggle with sins or make obviously erroneous mistakes.But, in wanting the best for them, I have taken on the role of God in their lives, and that is obvious sin in my life! Who would have thought that the simple desire to help people would turn into idolatry, but it did.

And it took sparkling, diamond, sun beams on the pond to open my eyes.